A mother’s intuition

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ONE YEAR HAS GONE BY...
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One of the skills essential to conscious parenting is learning to tune in to your intuitive guidance system ( or otherwise known as mother’s intuition, your sixth sense, your gut instinct, etc.).  And by learning (or should I say honing) that skill, we can better help our children learn to follow theirs.

The last many years of my life, I’ve been slowly unearthing my intuitive side, and realizing that some of my regular experiences are not common to everyone.

Things that seem obvious to me are not that way to others, and I’ve really begun to a) realize that and b) trust the intuitive hits I get more and more.  Later, I find that what I thought was just a thought, or a feeling, was actually intuitive guidance that turns out to be right on.  This happens when working with clients, or when parenting, or observing human dynamics.  I’ve had years of practice where I have gotten to know my intuition on a much more intentional, and personal level.

Recently, I have been struggling with a particular situation in my life, which has tested me to the ends of my limits of emotional strength and resiliency.  It has to do with my daughter, and a circumstance around her that affects her profoundly, but yet there is nothing I can do personally to change those circumstances.

It’s been the ultimate test of not being able to control something that is quite toxic to my child, and feeling like I should be able to fix it, but ultimately it’s not up to me to fix.

On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being a minor annoyance that is mildly upsetting to your child and not huge on the scale of trying challenges, to a 10 being emotionally and spiritually debilitating to your child, resulting in change of behavior and a crying out for help) I’d put this one at a 9.8.

Given this, for the first time in almost 2 years, I felt a desire to connect with another person’s interpretation of the situation.  The not knowing the outcome was what was causing me the most angst, and the constant back and forth for almost 7 months between thinking the situation was resolved, only to see it resurrect again.  I was feeling like I had fought and endured a war, which ultimately ended with the outcome I had hoped, only to realize the war was still on and weary from the battle, I had to charge onward.  This happened several times in the last 7 months, and it has been taking a toll on me.

Ultimately (and most importantly) this situation is most affecting my daughter, and her well-being is becoming the carnage of this circumstance that is out of both of our hands.

Seven months of being there for her as she’s sobbing sharing with me how she feels, and how this situation is affecting her.

Seven months of being the one who is asked direct questions that are not easy to answer truthfully, without making my daughter feel even more confused as to why she’s even in this circumstance.

Seven months of openly communicating with the one person who CAN change the situation, pleading and sharing what’s happening, only to have nothing change.

Seven months of being in this awkward place of wanting to be there to support her, and answer her questions truthfully, but knowing she might not be ready to hear the truth.  It is painful, confusing, and while the solution seems fairly simple, it’s just not changing.

It makes no sense to me as an adult, so how do I explain it to her?

I had recently come to the place of realizing I was resisting against a circumstance that I felt that logically my daughter should not be in – and the one person who can get her out of it (not me), refuses to do so.  Or in fairness, is in a place where they are not willing, or able, to admit how deeply this is affecting my daughter.  Because I cannot make this person do something to get my daughter out of this circumstance (even though this person cares deeply for my daughter also), I am helpless to change it.

It was from this place that I chose to visit with an intuitive counselor, to see if there was some insight, or guidance, that might help me navigate this challenging circumstance. I’m not one of those people who automatically follows what an intuitive counselor advises, I like to listen to what they have to say, and then use my own internal guidance system to take what information resonates with me, and then leave the rest (as no person is 100% accurate with readings, and anyone who thinks that does not truly understand the intuitive process).  I view it as an opportunity to gather information and insights, and to consider new possibilities that perhaps I’m not seeing as I’m too close to the situation.

Two weeks ago, I phoned a person I had seen a couple of times about 2 years ago, who was a wonderful intuitive.  Unfortunately, the bookstore where she did readings had closed down, so I had no way of finding where she was.

Magically, through some colleagues of mine, I found myself with an opportunity to have a reading done by a spiritual counselor named Shawna, who has more than 22 years of experience.  Needless to say, I agreed enthusiastically.  (I always am so grateful when things manifest like that in my life.)

A big part of me wished that I would hear in my session that my intuition about this major challenge was really not intuition at all, but just fear, or judgment, talking.

It wouldn’t be the first time, and while I strive to not let that happen in my life, I was secretly hoping I had somehow fallen off that wagon in this circumstance.  I was hoping I could blame it on mama bear rearing her instinctive head.

Instead, sadly, I learned that the situation is exactly as I thought.

Throughout my phone session, I received validation from Shawna that my intuition was uncannily correct, despite my almost desperate hopes that it wasn’t.

I left our session feeling pretty sad.  While I was extremely grateful to have had the opportunity to have this reading, and realizing that I did indeed, have strong accurate intuition on the situation, in the end, I did feel disappointed that I was right.  Only because I hoped it wasn’t true.

But that is one of the blessings of a reading with a person with a true intuitive gift, with integrity and the intention of helping people in the highest good for all – is that you don’t always hear what you want to hear.

Despite my sadness and resolution, the session was a very positive experience, and Shawna is an incredible intuitive.  (She shared other insights about other areas of my life with me as well, which were all very interesting.)

Even before the session, one of the reasons I even wanted a session was just to KNOW, once and for all, and not be stuck in this limbo purgatory I felt I had been in for the last 7 months since this situation all started.

I realized going into the session that one possible outcome would be insight that was uncomfortable to hear.  Yet I still hoped that I would be told I was wrong about the situation, and that things are going to turn out just wonderfully and I was worrying about nothing.

The reason I have sleepless nights is because my intuition about the situation, and the intricacies of it, was completely validated through my session with Shawna.

The most amazing gift from this reading was the knowing deep down that my internal guidance system is pretty darn accurate.   Most of the time I get by on my own, but that it is nice to speak to someone to validate what you are feeling.

It’s a reminder that we all have this ability to hear, if we are really willing to listen.  Listening takes practice, patience, and trust.  And discernment.

Now I plan to spend my energy on being the best parent I can be given the circumstance, and know that is all I can do.  Until this session, I think I was holding out hope that this “problem” would go away, and I’d be able to bumble along happily knowing that my daughter would be far better off when it did.  However, accepting that apparently this circumstance is very likely not going to change any time soon, I can at least work from that paradigm.

 

Have you ever faced a situation where you feel helpless because you can’t change the situation that is hurting your child?  Please share….

To learn more about Shawna, and find out about having your own reading, visit www.divineknowing.com

Disclaimer:  I received an intuitive phone session with Shawna for no charge, in exchange for my sharing my honest experience.  The above post was in no way affected by this exchange, it is my unbiased, honest insights into my experience. 

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