Just less than 5 minutes ago, I was standing on my deck overlooking the Pacific ocean, witnessing yet another sunset. Tonight’s sky was a winter sky, with clouds, and pockets of sunshine, with depth from the layers of moisture in the air. Yet when the sun made it’s final descent “into the ocean,” something struck me clear as day.
I’ve lived in California for the better part of the last 15 years of my life. I never take any sunset for granted….my husband laughs at how literally EVERY evening, I am commenting about the sunset, and how incredible it is, and stopping whatever we are doing, so that I can soak in those last few rays emanating from the sun that day.
In this experience, I am usually getting my camera – or realistically, for the last 3+ years, my Iphone….to try in some way to capture the moment on film (or thumb drive…. you get my point). I feel this desperate need to want to remember the essence, and the splendor, of the beauty of that window of time. It’s less than 5 minutes. And I feel this need to make sure I can capture it so I can remember how amazing that one particular sunset was. So that I can view it later, and feel the same feeling.
In reality, all sunsets are incredible. Every sunset I have witnessed seems like the best ever. For sure there has never been a prettier sunset….I think…. as I am there watching.
And tonight, it hit me like a ton of bricks. As I am scrambling to get my phone, to take a picture, to zoom in, focus, and try to make it look as incredible as it feels……I am totally, 100% NOT present.
I am missing the greatest gift of all.
Which is to be still, to observe, and to bask in the splendor of the moment. Instead, I’m cursing at the Iphone, trying to make it focus (when it doesn’t want to) and it looks silly on the picture. So I try again. And again. And yet again.
In the meantime, I am missing it all. I am missing the moments of the last sunlight of the day. In my scramble to preserve the feeling I get when I watch a sunset. I am missing the biggest gift.
So from now on, I am making a promise. That I am no longer going to try to capture it on film. I am going to take my time, spend every moment observing, feeling, and reflecting. And feeling grateful to live in a place where this wonder of nature is part of my everyday experience. And I never take it for granted.
In honor of my past efforts, here are some pictures that don’t even do it justice. But in tribute to the sun, and to my vow to be present as much as I can, here you go.
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